I grew up in Vernon, British Columbia with my Mother, Father and Brother. I was a quiet and shy to the outer world but on the inside I was incredibly curious. I started questioning why we were here and what our purpose was at a very young age. At the age of 7, I noticed that I felt different on the inside around certain people. I was perplexed as to why I felt inferior around some people and why I felt like my true self around others. It really bothered me that I was so insecure around certain people. Of course I didn't know what insecurity was on a intellectual level, I just knew that I felt less than others at times. I inquired into this and asked the adults around me, why I was not the same around everyone? No one was ever able to answer this burning question for me, and I felt very much alone and confused.
Later in life, I would discover that it was a limiting core belief system that I had created from a traumatic event at the age of 3. I created a belief system that I was not good enough and it came out around certain people, especially authoritarian figures. I remember very clearly seeing these two parts within myself, the real me and the me that felt less than others. It was very confusing as I just wanted to be the real me at all times. This confusion led to loneliness and it quickly turned into spiritual seeking.
My mother was a huge teacher for me, she is a Vedic Astrologer and I grew up learning about the Veda's, Buddhism and Hinduism through her. I was naturally drawn to these cultures and their spiritual teachings. In my early twenties I went on multiple backpack trips for months at a time to South East Asia, including over two months in India. I was looking for answers. I felt free there but when I returned home the deep void I had always felt submerged once again.
Because I had this craving for truth and wisdom, societies expectations and school system did not align with quenching my thirst but only drew me farther away from what my heart desired. I became resistant to the way the world worked and didn't quite fit in. Although it may have looked like I fit in on the outside, I felt very much like an alien on the inside. This led me to many dysfunctional coping mechanisms such as drinking and drug addiction. This slowly drew me even further away from my authenticity, until I didn't like who I was or know who I was anymore. Spirituality became a distant thing and I found myself trying to escape reality as it was too hard for me. Underneath I was angry, sad and full of pain. I remained in this state for most of my 20's and experienced a lot of trauma in that time because of the relationships I chose and the decisions I made. My sense of self and self esteem continued to plummet and I felt very lost.
In 2010, I got staph infection. This resulted from a surgery 3 months prior, for endometriosis. My body became septic and I could no longer breath. I was placed on life support and induced into a coma. I only had a 5% chance of survival. While I was under in the coma, barely hanging on, I had a near death experience. This experience was a profound fork in the road for me, changing my perspective of life and death in an instant.
Although the road to recovery after waking out of the coma was incredibly long, hellish and very messy, I still stand by my words when I say, that almost dying was the best thing to ever happen to me. It took me some time to see what had happened, but I had a very big spiritual awakening. It changed my perspective and opened my heart to an expansiveness that I didnt know was even possible. And most of all, it led me to understand the difference between the ego self/ false self that keeps us stuck in suffering and the true authentic self that is underneath it all.
At the end of my recovery, a master teacher was placed on my path. I spent 6 hours a day with her learning about personal shadow work assessment and heart activation. Shadow work is the process of making the hidden or shadow aspects that are unconscious within us, conscious. She taught me how to see myself and learn about all of my parts within, especially the parts that I was scared to look at. The question I had when I was 7 years old, that no one could answer for me was finally answered. She showed me that everyone has fragmented aspects within them which creates different parts of the personality and covers up the true self. I learned how to use my pain as a tool for transformation and find myself underneath. I also learned that the space in my heart that opened after the near death experience was apart of my awakening and I was taught how to nurture, open and live from the heart center, instead of the head. I was on a journey back to my authentic true self.
I was walking towards my freedom, becoming softer and softer, letting go of the walls and protection that I had created to survive in this world. I trained with my teacher for just over three years and then came to a point where I felt I no longer needed her and could continue the work on my own, as I had healed and opened immensely.
I began to experience a zest and joy for life which I had never experienced before. I was full of curiosity and eagerness to keep learning myself and healing. My friendships changed, relationships changed, I moved to a new city and my whole life began to shift.
I also felt a strong desire to share these tools of transformation and healing with others because it had changed my life so much. I knew that being disconnected from my true self was why I was in so much pain all those years. I wanted other people to know this knowledge, as I saw so many others in pain and suffering.
I soon realized that my purpose was to help people and had a passion to walk along side others on their healing journey. I decided to go back to school to work in addictions and mental health with women. I completed a social work program, receiving my diploma. I am coming into my 7th year of specializing in addictions and mental health. Although, now my passion is to help people reconnect with their authenticity and empowerment through understanding their trauma and pain.
I have continued to take multiple courses to increase my awareness and techniques including a one year program with Dr. Gabor Mate in Compassionate Inquiry. This is a psychotherapeutic
approach that is based in exploring our childhood trauma so we can discover our core belief systems and heal. I have also trained with a world renound teacher, Edward Mannixx in Compassion Key which is described as one of the best tools to breakthrough karmic blocks. I am also currently training in shamanism to balance the material world with the spiritual, so I can connect with my clients on a deeper level.
Although my education and training has situated me with qualifications, it is my life experience that has gifted me the ability to be present, empathetically attuned and compassionate with you. I am able to hold space for everyone and anyone, from all walks of life, with a non judgmental nature and open heart. Just as I have invested in my own training and healing, I am very interested in investing in your healing. When we can reconnect back with our authenticity, thats when our life truly begins.
When we heal ourselves, we heal the collective. When we heal the collective, we can heal the world.
With Love and Gratitude,